


The Way Skin Stretches Over Bone

by Anonymous



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, ED? possibly, Eating Disorder, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Supportive Sapnap, The “comfort” in the hurt and comfort is minimal, body image issues, feral boys are the best friends, loving boyfriend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 10:53:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29277270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Body image had never been an issue for Karl before his senior year of high school. It was like a flip switched- he didn’t even know what the trigger was.Suddenly, he couldn’t stand to look at himself in the mirror. Suddenly, he was proud of himself for not eating all day.Suddenly, he felt like he wasn’t enough for Sapnap.
Relationships: Karl Jacobs/Sapnap
Comments: 6
Kudos: 209
Collections: Anonymous





	The Way Skin Stretches Over Bone

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there, this is kinda a vent fic? If the creators express discomfort with shipping or NSFW content, this work will be deleted. This is also based off of their SMP characters and not the real people themselves. 
> 
> tw: eating disorders
> 
> enjoy the fic <3

Body image was always something that stayed towards the back of Karl’s mind. He was aware of it: everyone was. Every other commercial on TV was an ad for a gym or some stupid diet plan, and his parents were always nagging him to eat healthy and play sports. It was just the way life was.

Karl didn’t mind it. He was skinny enough to be happy, and even without a ton of muscle he was confident when he took his shirt off at the beach, or when he put on his speedo for the one year he was on the swim team in high school. He knew he wasn’t built like Dream or Sapnap; the stars of the swim and football teams, and consequently also two of his best friends. He was never jealous of how they looked, he never compared himself to them. Him and George just watched them compete on the field or in the pool from the bleachers, cheering them on with Quackity shovelling down hot dogs beside them. 

None of them cared how they looked, because they had no reason to.

Then senior year hit, and it was like a switch had flipped for Karl.

He’d been with Sapnap for six months or so, and he was happier than he’d ever been in his life. They spent all of their time together, be it in their big friend group, or just the two of them. Sapnap _adored_ Karl: it was written all over his face, love embossed in his voice every time he spoke about the taller.

Karl adored Sapnap right back. With his entire heart, with all of his being, he loved his boyfriend.

Something changed, though. There was no trigger for it: no mean comment, no off look. Suddenly, Karl just hated how he looked. He avoided mirrors, he didn’t let Sapnap pick him up anymore. He felt like his body was suddenly disgusting- like _he_ was suddenly disgusting.

People might’ve started to notice, too. Karl was usually a pretty open book, and a very joyful presence to be around. Sapnap was the first to notice, but it was probably only hours later when George said something, followed by Quackity and Dream. And then it turned into this whole thing; something that Karl did _not_ want to deal with. 

So he denied it, of course.

How could he tell his best friends that he relished in the low burn of hunger in his stomach after going the whole day without eating? How could he tell them that he was _proud_ of it? 

He knew that there was nothing wrong with what he was doing. It was good for him, he was going to lose the layer of fat on his abs and on his hips, at least he was going to as soon as he started up running again.

They might not have seen it that way, though. They might have taken it the wrong way, like he was trying to hurt himself, or that he had some kind of eating disorder.

He didn’t. 

He was fine.

He was fine, and he repeated those two words to himself repeatedly as Sapnap walked in the front door on the first day of summer break, a giddy smile on his face. Karl’s parents had left them the beach house to stay in that week as a celebration of them finishing high school, voices tinged with pride for their son. They didn’t know that Dream, George, and Quackity wouldn’t be coming until the next day, but what they didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them.

The scent of salty air greeted Karl’s nose with each breath he took, and he absolutely bathed in it. The beach always made him happy.

“Hey dork.” Sapnap said. Karl smiled almost shyly as the shorter placed his backpack on the ground, opting to wrap his boyfriend in a tight hug that left Karl giggling uncontrollably.

_Don’t pick me up. You won’t be able to lift me._

“Hey loser.” He teased back, leaning just far enough away that he could meet those honey brown eyes for just a second until he came back in for a gentle kiss. 

Well, it was gentle for a moment, anyway. 

Karl quickly found himself pressed up against the wall beside the front door that Sapnap had kicked closed. His senses were overwhelmed, but he didn’t mind it. He loved the way Sapnap took over every nerve ending on his body, the way his lips took control of the kiss. 

Eyes half-lidded, Karl momentarily saw how the golden light of sunset washed over Sapnap’s black hair and tan skin. The way it kissed those perfectly high cheekbones. The way it probably showed off the contours of his arm muscles in the white t-shirt he wore.

_I wish I looked like that._

He closed his eyes again, and tried to push those thoughts away. He focused instead on the hand palming at his ass, and the other one that was buried in his chestnut hair. His face reddened when he let out a small squeak at Sapnap tugging on his hair, the low laugh that the noise caused going straight to his cock. 

“Do you want to keep going?” A car rumbled past outside as Sapnap spoke, his words like syrup in Karl’s brain. His skin felt like it was alight, and the light kisses that the shorter was pressing down his neck weren’t helping the thought process. His brain was mush, leaking out of his ears steadily and dripping down the curve of his throat to reach the tip of all his fingers and toes.

 _“Please.”_ He gasped the word, uncaring of the neediness imbued into it. Sapnap let out a low growl that had Karl grinning lazily, his haf hard cock an afterthought as his lips were attacked once again, this time with added teeth and with his hips pressed to the wall. 

His stomach burned the whole while, but Karl was used to it. Besides, it was easy to forget about hunger and aching muscles when he was having his neck attacked.

“You’re so beautiful, Karl.” Sapnap mumbled into the skin of the brunette’s jaw, teeth nipping at the fragile skin teasingly.

_Liar._

“Fuck, I need you.” Karl said, something building at the bottom of his ribcage. He didn’t want that, he didn’t need it. He needed to make Sapnap happy- he _wanted_ to make Sapnap happy. 

“Well when you put it that way…” Sapnap smiled mischievously, diving into Karl’s neck and sucking what had to have been a huge hickey onto the milky skin there. His hands were everywhere, and Karl was trying his best to not squirm away from the cool fingers that came up under his shirt to run nails over his abdomen or grab his waist. 

_Not there._

Karl could feel Sapnap’s erection pressed against him as rough facial hair scratched over his neck. The negative feeling in his stomach was growing, and not by choice. It was so frustrating that every time the two of them got _anywhere,_ he could hardly enjoy it. 

“Upstairs, Sap.” Karl said, leaning away from his boyfriend’s branding lips. 

_Make me forget myself._

“I like you like this. All needy and demanding.” He pressed a quick kiss to Karl’s lips before releasing him, keeping their hands intertwined. “You’re so sexy Jacobs…” Sapnap’s eyes were dark, and the predatory way he grazed his eyes over Karl made his cock throb in his pants. “I’m gonna ruin you.” 

The trip up the stairs was short, and within a minute Karl found himself pressed onto the bed in the master suite, the light of the sunset bathing the two of them through the window, and the sound of the ocean carrying through the walls. Sapnap peeled off his t-shirt, sculpted abs built from years of dedication seeming to glow enticingly.

“You’re everything.” Karl whispered, eyes wide.

He wasn’t lying.

Sapnap smiled hungrily down at him, eyes glancing down to where his boyfriend’s cock was straining against his pants. 

“And you’re mine.” He said, hands delving down to undo the button and fly on Karl’s pants. He looked focussed and happy, a bright pink flush on his cheeks. He pushed down the waistband, and moved carefully out of the way as Karl lifted his hips to assist in getting them off. 

_Don’t think about your thighs._

The air was cool on his legs as Sapnap maneuvered himself between them, eyes glittering as he took the tip of Karl’s cock in his mouth, expertly swirling his tongue around the tip in the way he knew drove the brunette crazy.

Karl’s hand was in Sapnap’s hair in a flash, fingers tangling in the oil colored locks as a way to ground himself. He couldn’t look down.

_Don’t look at him. Double chins aren’t sexy. You need to find a way to get rid of it._

He pressed the flat of his tongue against the roof of his mouth as Sapnap bobbed up and down on his dick, the pleasure building in the pit of his stomach not enough to drive away the mind numbing anxiety that was inflicting his mind. Fuck, his shirt wasn’t even off yet. How the fuck was he going to-

“Fucking _christ-”_ Karl’s eyes rolled back in his head as the tip hit the back of Sapnap’s throat, and the motherfucker _hummed_ around it. He pulled on the hair in his hand in ecstacy, the knot in his stomach threatening to unfurl before the sensation was gone, and he was left with his hips and back arched up off the bed wantonly, and Sapnap chuckled above him.

“Needy boy.” He said, grin growing wider at the growing blush on Karl’s face. “So pretty.”

“Why are you talking about yourself, nimrod?” Karl spoke towards the ceiling, not willing to risk looking stupid.

“Ah, of course. My apologies.” Sapnap teased. Karl wondered what was going to happen next, but his heart felt like it was going to stop when he felt fingers teasing at the hem of his shirt.

_Don’t look at me._

“Sap-”

“I wanna see you, baby. Be good for me.” Sapnap said, and with his bottom lip drawn up between his teeth Karl nodded in agreement.

_Be good for something._

He lifted his arms as the fabric was drawn over his head and discarded, and he suddenly felt so much more bare than he’d ever felt in his life.

_You’re fucking huge. He can see the fat on your stomach. Fuck, your thighs are massive. You’re disgusting._

Karl squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, the sound of Sapnap taking off his pants in the forefront of his mind. He tried to focus on that noise, and on the subsequent feeling of the bed tilting to once again accommodate the football player’s weight. 

_He must be regretting this. You’re bigger than you were last time he fucked you._

Warm fingertips danced along his sides, and Karl shivered at the lightly dancing touches. His cock lay on his stomach, leaking precum from his near orgasm minutes ago. 

“Good thing I put lube in my pocket earlier. I must be a fucking oracle or something, knowing the future and shit.” Sapnap joked, the sound of his ripping open what must’ve been a small packet of lube reaching Karl’s ears. He chuckled a little bit to keep his lover happy. “Tell me if you want me to stop, alright?” 

“Of course.” Karl answered. He felt soft lips on his inner thighs as a fingertip prodded at his entrance, pushing in slowly and smoothly. It was a discomfort that he was used to, so he didn’t mind it. In fact, he was much more focussed on the kisses and bites being pressed to his thighs.

_Why would he kiss me there?_

One finger turned into two, and then three, and suddenly he was empty again.

“Are you ready?” Sapnap asked. Karl’s eyes opened lazily to be met by those honey browns, and suddenly it was too much. 

His heart started beating quickly, the bubble of anxiety in his chest threatening to burst. But he couldn’t fail Sapnap, couldn’t make all of the prep and careful touches go to waste.

“Baby, are you okay?” The softness of the younger’s voice wasn’t extraordinary or anything, but it still caused a pang of regret to go through Karl’s body.

“Oh yeah, sorry I was just thinking of something, uh…” He forced a smile onto his lips, and pressed a quick kiss to Sapnap’s bicep. “Could we not do missionary? I’m feeling hands and knees.”

_I don’t have to see my stomach on my hands and knees._

That predatory hunger returned to his face, pupils blown wide with want.

“Anything for you.” Sapnap leaned down to grab a chaste kiss, then quickly got off of Karl and manhandled him into the doggiestyle position. Karl closed his eyes and let the smile drop from his face, burying it into his forearms as the man behind him spread his legs open.

_Now he doesn’t have to pretend to like what he sees._

“Fuck me.” Karl said at the contact of the tip of Sapnap’s cock gently pressing inside of him. 

He wanted to forget what he looked like. He wanted to get fucked into loving himself.

“You don’t have to ask me twice.” Sapnap’s voice was almost fuzzy behind him, Karl’s entire mind hyper focusing on the way that his cock felt as it was driven into him roughly, the burn bringing tears to his eyes. Fuck, he loved it, loved he sound of skin slapping skin, loved the burn of Sapnap’s nails digging into his hips as if they would be able to rip the fat away.

He lost himself in the feeling of Sapnap’s cock hitting so deep inside him that it felt like his empty stomach was being pushed up into his ribcage. The sounds he made, and the little nothings he whispered as he destroyed the older made Karl almost believe those words.

“Beautiful. You’re perfect, Karl. I love you.”

_Liar. Liar. Liar._

The brunette moaned obscenely, weeping cock left unattended as Sapnap fucked him harder, his thrusts becoming erratic until he finally came, pushing his cock into Karl as far as it would go until the waves passed and he could pull out, breathing heavily. 

Karl immediately flipped over and sat up to search for his clothes on the floor, feeling the cum inside him starting to leak out, but not caring in the slightest.

_Shirt. Cover up before the clarity hits. Don’t let him see enough to regret it._

“Hey, woah, woah, woah.” A hand on his chest pushed Karl back down onto the mattress. Anxiety shot through him as Sapnap looked at him curiously, chest still heaving for breath as a smile adorned his lips. “Just where do you think you’re going?” He asked. Karl looked away, the anxiety threatening to take over.

_Get some fucking clothes on. Fucking disgusting._

“I was just gonna get dressed-”

“Ohhh no you’re not.” Sapnap cut him off, moving to sit on the older’s thighs. He reached out and wrapped long fingers around Karl’s still hard dick, slowly pumping it up and down. Karl squirmed a bit, tears pricking the back of his eyes.

_Pity. He’s pitying you._

“Sap-”

“I’m gonna make you come so hard baby-”

“Sapnap-”

“Fuck, you’re so good for me-”

“Let me go, Sap!” Karl yelled, tears finally spilling out onto his cheeks. Sapnap stilled out of shock, and in those few moments, Karl managed to worm his way out of the stronger’s grasp and plant his feet on the carpeted floor and scoop up his shirt, pulling it on quickly.

“I- Karl, baby what’s wrong? Did I do something?” Sapnap hurried to his feet and tried to grab his boyfriend, but Karl flinched away. “I-I’m sorry, I-”

“You didn’t do anything.” Karl said. He picked up his underwear from the floor and slipped them over his legs, eyes catching on the purple hickies that were left on his thighs. He couldn’t be loved, not when he looked the way he did. Sapnap stood inches away, obviously yearning to reach out. 

“Then what is it? Let me help.” Oh, how Karl loved him. He looked beautiful in the last light of day that came through the window. Sapnap was too beautiful to be with him, too perfect. Karl took a deep breath.

“I just hate the way that my skin fits me.”

_You'll never be beautiful enough to deserve to be looked at the way he looks at you._

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this! It was really just a way to let out my feelings about my body and make sense of the way I've been feeling. Comments and love are always appreciated <3 Thank you for reading <3


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